Reality

This blog may make it seem like everything always goes “our way” and that we never have setbacks or disappointments, and that things are just easy for us because we have good incomes. Well, I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately as we just returned from our trip to Amsterdam and people have directly told me, “I’m so jealous!” or “You’re so lucky!”

I’m not going to go into a lot of detail, but I just want to be clear that my husband and I don’t always have it so easy, we aren’t really any more lucky than the next person, and that the good things that happen for us are usually the result of a significant amount of hard work, planning, and usually budgeting.

We are very lucky to have each other, and to each support each other’s dreams in very tangible ways. A small example of this is that I’ve been talking about learning to skateboard for over two years, and finally, my husband had a co-worker with an unused longboard and he decided to make her an offer for it. He’s now teaching me how to ride, and made sure we both got helmets soon after this photo was taken:

skateboardA larger example is his graduate school experience. We discussed him going back to school for quite a few years before he actually took the GRE, looked at various online programs compared to classroom options, applied, and was accepted to both programs he applied to. We have managed to put him through school without student loans, thanks to many people–primarily his supervisor and co-workers who have adjusted to his changing schedule each semester and worked to help him reduce his hours as he transitions toward full-time student status with no job. He is basically paying his own tuition, and my income covers all of our regular expenses so that this can happen.

But we’ve been through some pretty crummy stuff, too. There have been professional setbacks of various types, personal disappointments, strained relationships, and medical issues. And don’t forget that we started our marriage in quite a bit of debt, with a long period of unemployment for my husband while I was only working part-time. I don’t write about these things, but it doesn’t mean they don’t happen to us, just like they happen to everyone else. The best we can do is try to make better decisions and think of our future selves.

It’s likely going to be a significant amount of time before we can take another vacation that involves getting on a plane, since my husband will (God willing) be graduating next spring and also (God willing) starting a new job sometime (hoping very soon) after graduation. This is one reason we decided to get back to Europe this spring, so soon after our last trip, because school schedules and life are quickly going to get in the way of any trips. And our hope is that we will eventually be able to save up a down payment for a house, maybe by our 10th wedding anniversary. All of this is a long way off, but I’ve always been motivated by long-ranging goals.

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